Testimonies & Thoughts

You have been diagnosed with cancer by a medical doctor. He/She has given you their best prescription for what they advise you do for your "treatment". Most likely, there goal is to kill/attack/remove the cancer cells - as if the cancer is a bad guy that needs to be destroyed before it destroys you.   You are overcome with disbelief that this is happening to you. You are experiencing fear on every level. You are vulnerable and want to do whatever your doctor tells you - trusting that he/she knows more than you about this subject. Afterall, they have gone to years of medical school. You trust him/her. You want to believe they can lead you back to health.   But, what happens, when you've done all they've told you to do... and yet, you still have cancer? Now, they don't know what else to tell you - so they do all they can - they brace you for the thing you feared the most..... they give you no hope.   They give you what they can to try to help you ...

You may think suicide is an option that will free you from the pain and misery easily found in this life, but remember this:   1. There is another life after our mortal bodies die. It will either be eternal pain and misery or eternal life, joy, and peace. You are at the mercy of God once you die if you have not made the choice for yourself while you were still living on earth. All who choose Jesus, in this life, will be with Jesus eternally in the next life.   2. Your "freedom" from this life's pain and misery becomes chains that will entangle all who love you and who needed to know that you loved them. These chains could only be broken and they can only be set free by a Savior. If you did not know the Savior, how would you have taught about Him to those (especially your children) who knew you? Therefore, if they do not know the Savior, they too will now be faced with the inescapable pain and misery you ended for yourself and passed along to them.   Suic...

My whole life, 38 years and counting, it has been easy to see the message that can wreak havoc in my life... when I let it.   Oftentimes, it will come in various shapes and sizes and colors, but all in all it is always telling me the same thing, "You are not good enough."   As a child, among family:   "You are not good enough to love and keep and accept into our family." I translated their message when I was seven years old, as my fourth family gave me back to the social worker to find a different home for me. When I was seventeen, I heard the message again as my adopted family put me back into the system! And on and on and on I have heard that message... never have I found a family to date that will call me their own (and treat me as if I were). I am an outcast, an outsider, on my own.   When I turned seventeen, and I found my birthmother and learned that my conception was a result of her being raped, it was another huge confirmation to my beli...

(Caution: The content of this post may not be suitable for younger imaginations unless a parent is ready to filter it first.) I cannot remember how it all started, but I definitely remember how horrifying and life changing it was.   There was a group of men; they seemed like Native Americans, by their skin tones and dark hair and eyes. They were acting like true savages. Something had happened. I am not sure what it was, but I knew there was great danger. I quickly acted and went inside the nursing home to try to protect a man.   I was too late. His door was open and I saw that the one fugitive had him cornered in the room. There was nothing I could do. I saw what the savage intended to do, and it terrified me. He had a long handled axe, and before I completely turned to run away, I heard the sound of him using it. This was horrific! There was an older woman walking in the hallway. She was completely oblivious to the danger she was in. I tried to look calm and I st...

There has been a war in my mind, and I have been losing. The casualties are stacking up around me as I allow the toxicity on the inside of me spill out and manifest itself around me. No more! This is an attempt to be armed with Truth, Christ, and the Word (all the same) so I can overcome over and over and over, and help those around me do the same. Holy Spirit, you are my counselor. You guide me in all Truth ( John 16:13 ). I set apart this time to write down the truths I need to remind myself of when I am weakened by the lies and deception of the enemy. The enemy comes in so many different ways and forms. It is in drawing nearer to the truth that the lies become more evident and will lose their power in my life. Lord, your children are hurting desperately everywhere. We are ignorant in so many areas. We are blind and deaf to your Word and the true meanings hidden in your Word. Forgive us Lord for not diligently seeking You all the days of our life (that You h...

I've captured God. Or, has He captured me? ~ I was pulled out of a dream with my sister-in-law speaking as if she were a golf expert about some bizarre golf hole in a mysterious place.  I had not opened my eyes yet. I could hear what had woken me up.  "Mah...Ma".  This time more intentional and much more deliberate,"Mahhhhh...Ma". It was our cat. Yes, our cat. He knows how to get my attention. Rather than his usual "me-ow", he seems to focus in on saying, "ma-ma".  It both startles and amazes me, and of course I respond to his great performances... no matter the time. I stumbled to open the inside garage door to let him in.  After a brief greeting, I proceeded to open our bedroom window to let him outside. (This is his normal routine). I fell back into bed, hoping to go back to sleep, (it was only 4 am) and two things happened: (1) I started to notice the pattern of my husband's breathing (this always keeps ...